Eatin’ My Hat cover art

Left Alone • Track 06

Eatin’ My Hat

GUN(X). Goin' for the banner with some twenty mike mike. Sometimes you get a century. Sometimes you tear it all up.

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Liner Notes

About the song

This song sums up just about anything anyone in a fighter squadron might bet: acey-deucey, Klondike, Horse, eating contests, drinking contests, 100% sortie completion rates in port, or becoming an “Item” winner. A bet is a bet.

“Eatin’ My Hat” is a gun exercise — GUN(X) — where another plane tows a banner and prays your aim is true, not 1,000 feet forward. It can be flown in a circular pattern, or “squirrel cage,” which those who know and have done are already a step ahead of those who ain’t.

You get a full ammo — FAMMO — load of 20mm and four or five passes to show the squadron what you’ve got. The ordies painstakingly paint the ammo so somebody might have a chance at bragging rights. Everyone is very interested in the final count. Over 100 hits is a century. Cut the cable holding the banner, and nobody is happy about that.

Ask me over a beer sometime how I did.

Mission: GUN(X). Maybe a gun jams. But if it doesn’t, you can’t jam physics. Aim for where they’ll be, not where they are. Pipper down. Tracking. Kill the Hornet. Right hand turn on the deck. Knock it off. Debrief at the O Club. Dice will be coming out. Five aces? Always in play.

Ask me over another beer sometime about five aces.

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Eatin’ My Hat Lyrics

      Eatin' My Hat

      Written by
      Bill “Lefty” Lawrence

      [Verse 1]
      I walk in with my buddies
      To have a quick beer
      I saw your pretty face
      Staring at me in the mirror
      I elbow my best friend
      Say "How about that?"
      "If she don't dance with me,
      I'll be eatin' my hat.

      I trip on my stool
      I look like a fool
      Here comes your frown
      But I can't back down
      There goes your drink and I'm all at fault
      I slink on back and I reach for the salt

      [Pre-Chorus]
      My buddies are a-laughin'
      But a bet is a bet
      Nobody here
      Ain't seen nothin' yet
      I take a last look at my seven and a quarter
      The waitress sets me up with my favorite porter

      As soon as I bite down
      On my hat's brim
      You give me a look like
      Kinda a grin
      As I start to chew
      There's a fatal flaw
      My summertime hat ain't nothin' but straw

      I like the way you're lookin'
      At me like that
      So what the hell?
      I keep eatin' my hat

      [Verse 3]
      I know I start to look
      Like I'm breaking a sweat
      But I can't back down
      A bet is a bet
      I give you a glance
      But it's "talk to the hand"
      I hope you're still lookin'
      As I get to the band

      [Chorus 2]
      I like the way you're lookin'
      At me like that
      It don't go down easy
      I keep eatin' my hat

      I look up and you toss me a smile
      Giv'n me the hope I need for a while
      I stand up, you point "sit down"
      You won't talk to me 'til I've eaten the crown

      [Chorus 3]
      I like the way you're lookin'
      At me like that
      I'm in too deep now
      I keep eatin' my hat

      [Outro Verse]
      I'm chewin' real fast
      Buddies buyin' me shots
      Your girlfriends are a-waitin'
      Out in the lot
      I choke it down
      So what do I win?
      I look in that mirror
      But you're not where you've been

      My buddies break apart
      Like a laughin' Red Sea
      You're standing there
      At the bar next to me
      I stand up I go to tip my hat
      But my hand finds some air
      I forgot about that

      [Final Chorus]
      I like the way you're lookin'
      At me like that
      And I'd do it all again
      I kept eatin' my hat


      Contact / Licensing:
      Bill “Lefty” Lawrence
      Left Alone Entertainment
      music@leftylawrence.com

      © 2026 Bill “Lefty” Lawrence / Left Alone Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.